Arabesque
by hana-akira
Summary: They tangled around you and grew. .:Kurapika's Nen training:.


Fandom: Hunter x Hunter  
Title: Arabesque(1)  
Author: hana-akira AKA rurichi  
Genre: General, Spiritual  
Character: Kurapika Kuruta, Shisyo(2)  
Rating: 17+  
Warning: OOC, AU  
Prompt: Chains and the tragedy of repetition (Inspired by episode 45 and 56 of the anime)  
Summary: They tangled around you and grew. [Kurapika's Nen training]

* * *

It's darkness that Kurapika opens his eyes to when he feels something calling him.

"I want to be strong," he says to the silence, "The kind of strength that can banish all the wandering spirits into the deepest level of hell."

He stretches his right arm out, reaching for something that is obscured from his sight and from his mind.

Maybe it's a dream. Maybe it's a nightmare. Or maybe, it's a premonition of things to come. Whatever it is, all he knows is that the chains that come from the right palm of his hand tangle around him and grow. They tangle around him and he closes his eyes as he accepts.

(It is silence that answers him and it is silence which resolves for him.)

The chains clink together and they sing a repeating record of a silver song.

-0-

"—It seems like you're a Gugenka(3) type. That means you can materialize shapeless aura into a solid object."

"Gugenka…?"

"What's with that long face? You're don't seem satisfied."

"I want to be in the Kyouka(4) group."

"The decision is based on the abilities you were born with. To follow your nature and discover your natural abilities is the only way to train. For now, we'll be training your Hatsu(5)."

-0-

He's gotten used to the chains in his dreams, the way they always appear from his right hand and then tangle around him. He can taste iron on his tongue and feel in his bones a sense of foreboding, and knows, as the chains wrap around him each and every time, that something is coming.

(What's coming, he doesn't know. It could be answer or it could actually be nothing at all.

Or, maybe, it could be his death.)

The links in the chain repeat and repeat and repeat until they're covering everything and nothing in this abyss, this black hole of darkness and quiet clinking.

(The only thing worse than just plain darkness is a dark emptiness.)

He dreams (Of iron and steel tangling around him, wrapping around him like a snake.) He dreams and so—

(He breathes.)

-0-

"Pretty good. Your Materialization abilities have grown a lot in one month. With your talent, you can definitely master Materialization. It's only a matter of time. I've almost taught you everything. You have passed the Secret Hunter Exam."

"Secret Hunter Exam?"

"Yes, the training of your Nen—an ability that all true Hunters must possess. You have already graduated. Whatever intent you have…"

"Not yet! The strength I want is not only the strength of a Hunter…but the strength that allows me to eliminate all my enemies alone!

"That kind of strength?"

"I want to become strong! In order to reach that goal, I have to master the Nen of Reinforcement no matter what!"

"Impossible. Even if you can learn Reinforcement, it will never be perfect."

-0-

It starts with an interaction and it ends with a silence.

Shisyo smokes, and through the haze he makes, he thinks he can see chains dragging down the young man who stands wordlessly before him.

(The truth is that it's not Kurapika the chains are dragging. It's the world. But Kurapika doesn't say anything and so Shisyo is mistaken in what he thinks he sees and understands.)

He thinks Kurapika must have been a priest in his previous life or something (A missionary? He's not really sure, but he knows that the way Kurapika holds himself is one who believes in something greater than them. Something beyond them.

It's scary to know that he knows Kurapika so well within so little months, but he copes with it like he does with everything else:

Acceptance and resignation.)

"Don't throw your life away," he says to Kurapika (Words which he have said countless times now since they have met.)

The blonde-haired man turns away and instead looks blankly into the forest (He wonders, sometimes, what Kurapika sees, in the forest and the beyond. But he doesn't ask because he's afraid that the answer might just be silence.)

The fire crackles, sparks flying and the heat blazes, and Shisyo knows that today will be the same as yesterday.

(This kind of interaction between them repeats night after night and Shisyo knows it will always be the same and he doesn't know why he tries.)

All Kurapika does is close his eyes and keep silent.

(Even your silence seems to hold some sort of prayer.)

Between them, the silence stretches like the sky.

(Above them, a half-moon glows in an ocean of stars and black ink.)

-0-

"Imagine that these are the percentage possibilities of you mastering the Materialization training. No matter how talented a person is he can't master the Nen that doesn't belong in his group. And the further the Nen is from his league, the less chance he has of mastering it."

"My percentage possibility for Tokushitsu(6) is 0%."

"That's because Specialization is very unique. It's not something you can just learn because you want to. Most of it is inherited, or granted to you if you're raised in a special environment. And the reason Specialization is here is because people from Materialization and Sousa(7) have a high chance of transforming to Specialization with hard work. That is to say, there is a possibility that you can master Specialization.

You said you wanted the strength that allows you to defeat all your enemies alone. If that's the reason why you want to master Reinforcement, then it is the correct path. Reinforcement gives you the best abilities in attacking, defending, and healing. But since you were born under Materialization, you can only master as much as half of the abilities of the Reinforcement group.

That is your reality. No exceptions. Reinforcement is a world that can be easily deciphered by easy arithmetic. For example, if you're fighting someone who has fully mastered Reinforcement, and your opponent uses a punch strengthened by 100% by his Nen, the two fists meet…this is the result. That's how it is. Your Reinforcement abilities can only strengthen your fist to 60%. Which means… Even if you're on defense, you will receive 40% damage, no chance of victory at all.

Of course, this is only a simplified equation used to represent all situations. In reality, strength varies between people depending on their physique. The fighting territory is also a factor. And if you account for Nen, it becomes even more complicated.

Happiness, insanity, sorrow, fear, hatred, joy, shame, awareness. All these emotions in the human heart are factors that effect Nen. Sometimes, the strength of Nen can explode over 100%. But that may not be desirable during a fight. Using a strength that's above your capabilities can have disastrous repercussions. It can become your weakness, and even cost you your life. If you want to win each time, it's important that your strength remains at a constant level."

"Then, can that stable strength in Materialization, fight with a person who has fully mastered Reinforcement?"

"Let me ask you this: Can Materialization produce a sword, slicing through everything?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because that is beyond human capabilities."

"Yes, there are things you can't produce even if you fully utilize Materialization. If it was just a sharp sword, then you could produce it. But in that case, it's more sensible to just but a real sword without having to use your power. However, the problem is that a real sword isn't as easy to control as Nen, meaning that it's impossible to wield an incredibly powerful sword. Therefore, people of Materialization have a hard time finding the balance between reality and Nen during a fight. On the other hand, if you can find a balance, then you will be able to generate amazing strength. That's why the answer is yes and no.

You have to observe the battle situation carefully and the most appropriate object to materialize. What object do you think you can materialize?"

-0-

He's surprised, but perhaps, he shouldn't have been at all. The Kuruta were people who had always been deeply connected with their surroundings and it's only natural that they're able to connect to everything.

He just wishes that Kurapika hadn't been one of them (Because then Kurapika wouldn't have a chance to be a Specialization user, but then again, he thinks that Kurapika would have probably been able to work around it, anyway.

That's the type of person Kurapika was, after all.)

The chains suit the young man, even if he doesn't approve (He wants to say that it's a little bit kinky, but he really doesn't want to find out what's it like to fight one-on-one with a Kuruta who knows how to use Nen.

The Kuruta were formidable opponents even if they had never leant how to use Nen, and Shisyo knows if they had learned it, they would have survived the fight with the Genei Ryodan(8) unscathed.)

Kurapika isn't really his student, not really (Both of them know that if the concept of Nen had been written down in a book, Kurapika would have learned it just as well as if Shisyo had been there to teach him himself.) But it's still his duty to help him, help him learn and understand.

(He just wishes that Kurapika wouldn't use his teachings for a lost cause.)

The chains slither into the air into complicated patterns and designs to a dance that's waltzing to a wild and primal rhythm and beat.

(A crescent moon hangs above them, a sliver of platinum that's peeking from the dark foliage of the trees, and a scatter of stars blink dimly among misty clouds of a dark blue sky.)

-0-

"Chain?"

"Yes, a chain. It's the first thing that appeared in my mind when I found out I belonged to Specialization."

"A chain, huh? Why is that?"

"Because my enemies resemble evil demons that should be chained and dragged into hell and yet are still living freely in this world without punishment."

"I see. In my opinion, the one that is restricted by the chain is you."

"What the hell do you know?"

"Hey…Wait a minute! Listen here, you, I'm your master! Have some respect! Hey! I'm not done talking yet! Wait! Hey, Kurapika!"

'No one understands how I feel. No one can possibly understand That's why I…'

-0-

Repetition is a tragedy, and so is imitation.

They're like vines, Kurapika thinks, or like a tree's branches, with how they entangle around him in their cold embrace. They twine together, and twist as one. Interlocked, intertwined, and forever together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle Jagged ends and flimsy wood used to paint a picture of something that is new and whole, except, instead of wood, the appendages which wrap around him are of metal.

(Sometimes, he thinks he's more of a puzzle than a person, a human being. He feels like he's a pile of puzzle pieces that look like they should fit, but don't. Mismatched and uneven and not quite there, no matter how hard he tries. He's not stitched up all together like how a human is with limbs and flesh, blood and water.

He doesn't feel whole at all, even if all the pieces to the puzzle to complete him are all there.)

To see the same things over and over again, the same repeating pattern the chains make as they clink with one another, is a tragedy because it means that it will always be the same. The way the chains also try to imitate a tree, try to imitate _life_, is a tragedy too because the copy can never compare to the original.

(Nature, as they say, abhors a vacuum and so they tangled around him and grew.)

-0-

"It's all for revenge, huh? You're wondering how I knew, right? I can tell. I'm your master after all.

Forget about it. The results of revenge will leave you unfulfilled Right now, you have already been binded by the chains of revenge. You're like a butterfly struggling on the verge of death."

-0-

"Revenge," is what Shisyo says is the reason for why Kurapika is the way he is ("Lost," is what Kurapika's heart whispers instead.)

Kurapika knows that revenge is a dish best served cold. He knows this intimately because he had seen what the world had been like when it had ended in fire (He had, after all, seen how his clan had fallen.)

He knows that it's him being filled with both vengeance and a sense of loss that makes him the way he is (And what Kurapika knows of hate, both fire or ice would suffice(9), even if the preferred method would just be fire.)

He knows this only too well.

Holding a grudge for five years is a long time and tonight the Waning Gibbous moon is pale with grief.

(It festers like an open wound, and the added years and time between then and now are like salt being poured all over it and more.)

-0-

"The ability to materialize is not easy magic. You have to use your will to centralize the aura in one place. Actually, it's a natural occurrence. Because the object in a micro world can only exist in the electromagnetic force field, it slowly integrates with you into one being, and finally it settles down as a calm presence. If you want your will to complete the natural occurrence, you have to possess supernatural concentration and imagination. It's especially difficult with objects like metal that have a higher density. You shouldn't need me to explain its difficulties, right? Well, I have patience. I will wait with you until you give up. It's also my duty as your master."

-0-

The chains and him together are like a tree, and just like a tree, the chains need water, earth, and sunlight in order to grow. These ingredients are needed and so Kurapika gives it because it is him who brought them unto existence (Sunlight from his hair, the water from his eyes, and the earth from the path from which he walks upon.)

The tree of life drains him of his vitality and he can feel himself becoming one with the chains (So cold; so very, very cold.)

They tie him down, weighing on him as though they were a burden, a cross to be beared. And like the tree of Yggdrasil(10), the chains branch out towards the heavens yet still root him to hell (Like life and... like death. They tie around him, and he feels faintly like a gift given to the Gods.)

He is the trunk, the heart, and he will support the lifelines which tie himself to heaven and earth and hell.

(He is the world, forever to be pulled by two extremes, and he can feel himself being stretched thin, like butter.)

-0-

"Your aura has returned to normal. Although time can confirm the stability of your aura, it has a limit. If you overdo it, you won't be able to do anything."

"You wouldn't understand."

"For the purpose of avenging your clan, you have sworn to become a Blacklist Hunter. This is what I heard from the Hunter Committee. This is the responsibility of the sole survivor. Well, a human's determination can't be explained with reason. I'm no exception. No one can produce an invincible chain. But there is one way that can bring you close to being invincible."

"Really? Master, what should I do?"

"You're a really realistic guy, only now calling me 'Master'."

"Master!"

"Yeah, yeah… Two oaths. Decide on a condition and swear to that condition in your heart. You have to obey it. The stricter the condition, the more powerful your ability becomes. This is also the basic rule of Nen. Just like how awareness or the feeling of breathlessness in dangerous situations can activate Nen. You can understand the reason behind it, right? Like the unnatural speed you can achieve when escaping from a fire or a crime scene. You have to state the rule to your chain, of which you will obey. But let me warn you, this is different from the awareness to achieve safety. It's a double-edged sword. If you break the oath, your Nen will disappear completely because of the misuse."

-0-

His eyes burn as though they're on fire.

He knows this feeling because once upon a time, they _were_ on fire. Once, where the hooves of horses thunder in his memories, and which a bloody sunset eclipses all of what he sees when he remembers.

("Because I can't forget," his mind murmurs. "Because I remember," his heart bleeds.)

Ashes and smoke fill his dreams, like a smog of blood and rot that chokes his lungs, and the links in the chain coil around him in their lulling clasp.

(His throat is dry and there are no more tears, yet the tree still grows.)

The chains curl into him and out of him, around and under, and he is the image of clarity twisted beyond recognition.

(The chains that bind us to life… they hurt, don't they?)

-0-

"My goal is to capture the Spiders and take back the Scarlet Eyes(11) stolen from my people. To capture them, I need a chain that will bind them forcefully. My target is the Genei Ryodan."

"And you will not use it outside of the target. That's not strict enough."

"Don't be so quick to judge. That's only the first condition."

"Then, the other one?"

"I will bet on… My life!"

-0-

It's hard to get up in the morning after a dream. It's even harder when that dream starts to feel like a memory and something more than it should be.

(It's hard, so hard to get up, to rise, but it's a practiced thing now, a routine, and so Kurapika does it with relative ease despite the obvious reluctance of his body listening to his mind.)

Shisyo does not say anything as they eat breakfast and Kurapika trains once again with his chains, the iron snakes which coil around his fingers in a loving embrace.

The chains are let loose and the metal sings its fierce song (Fast and furious, tinkling off like wind chimes on the gentle wind of a spring day.

They sing of memories and "Don't-forget-me's", of death and eyes plucked like feathers from a mockingbird(12), and of bloody streams which flow like a river on a burnt and black earth.

They never sing of emptiness, but they do sing of loss and grief.)

Shisyo watches Kurapika train and says nothing.

(The metal continues to sing its siren song from morning till dusk, beautiful in its beauty and brutality, and Shisyo thinks and feels that something so brutal shouldn't be this beautiful to watch.)

-0-

"Kurapika, you… When your eyes turn red, does the aura in your body increase? Keep that condition and try the water test again. Maybe, you are…"

-0-

The ideas for the chains aren't solely his (After all, these chains are the chains that bind him to life and so they had to come from somewhere. They come from the memories of past and present.) The chains link him to the people most important to him (The Holy Chain for Leorio, the Chain Jail for Killua, the Dowsing Chain for Gon, the Judgment Chain for his Clan, and the last one—

The last one is for himself.)

They're like the red strings of fate(13), the red threads of destiny, and they connect him to the people still alive that mean something to him.

(Leorio had always been a doctor, even though he didn't have the license and the degree. He'd always wanted to just _helphelphelp_ in some way or another.

Sometimes, he wanted to help too much, and it feels like Leorio is shaking his shoulders and asking questions, looking for answers that will never be sufficient, never enough.

Killua is forever tied to his family, to his past, whether he wants to be or not. He is jailed by circumstances, and it shows in how he moves and acts.

Kurapika knows, however, that Killua will become something far beyond his family and it won't be him anymore who is closed on all sides and suffocating.)

He'd always been a believer in something greater and so doesn't find it odd at all that his Nen has the feelings of his friends and family.

(Gon was always looking, always searching for his father. Gon was the Dowsing, always guiding him, always trying to show him a different way to his path.

If only he had come when Kurapika was younger, if only he had come earlier, and Kurapika knows for sure he would not be on the path he is on now.

The Judgment Chain is buried deep into his heart and Kurapika knows it's too late for his path to be changed.)

(Sometimes, though, the chains switched. Sometimes. It'll be Gon who'll be the Holy Chain healing him one day, Leorio who would be the Chain Jail due to his past of failure and the blood of a friend on his hands, and it'd be Killua trying to be the Dowsing Chain even though he doesn't know what he wants except for things that have nothing to do with the family business. Or it would be Leorio being the Dowsing Chain because of his studies and dedication to become a doctor, Killua as the Holy Chain eating sweets and pure sugar, and Gon trying to be the Chain Jail when he doesn't let his past drag him down at all.

The Judgment Chain and the Nameless One, however, never change, and therefore, always stays the same.)

He doesn't know where he begins or where the others end—where the others begin and where he ends. He doesn't know.

(But it's okay, because nothing really makes sense these days. Not life and not Nen. All he knows is it just _is_ and that's all there is to it.)

-0-

"I want to advise you one last time. Give it up. Even if you're successful in this revenge, there's no benefit from it. All that's left is emptiness, and your bloodstained hands. Don't believe that you're strong enough to carry this burden all your life. This is your last chance. Give it up. Forget about revenge."

-0-

It's a full moon tonight, and Kurapika knows it's time.

(His eyes turn red, and his left hand tries to grasp for something that's not there, and he drowns.)

He bites into his right forefinger, tearing the skin away, and his blood flows out like a waterfall. After awhile, a chain comes spiraling out.

(Spiraling down and down even more towards the churning waters below, toward the roar and the hollow.)

He materializes his chain for the first time and he feels like he's drowning in a pool of his own blood.

(His diamond shape earring blinks off into an eerie purple, and he can't help but smile at his success even though his body falls like a deadweight into the water beneath him.)

-0-

"Give it up."

-0-

He doesn't, though. Not because he doesn't want to, but because he _can't_. Not when he's finally able to make it come true. Not when he's finally able _to get something back_.

(A butterfly is trapped in a spider's web, and is on the verge of death.)

Shisyo stares into the fire before him and Kurapika bows in thanks, and walks away, with his days numbered as he lives on borrowed time.

'_I accept everything so don't take anything back.'_(14)

(The tree continues to grow, and in Kurapika's heart, it's lost and it's bitter and it's _cold_.)

Shisyo closes his eyes as the fire dies down, with Kurapika long gone, and understands.

_(They tangled around you and grew.)

* * *

_

A/N: Kurapika is my favorite character in _Hunter x Hunter_. This was inspired by the chain scene in episode 45 and is my own tribute to him. The dialogue that's in-between is actually from episode 45 and 56 during the time when Kurapika is doing his Nen training. I added that in order to give it a more in-depth feel and understanding of the master-student relationship Shisyo and Kurapika have and so that's the reason why this is pretty long otherwise it would be half the size if it was just my own. Below are some footnotes that might help you in understanding some things.

(1) Arabesque is an artistic motif that is characterized by the application of repeating geometric forms and fancifully combined patterns. This definition was taken from Wikipedia and if you want to learn more, go look it up on Google.

(2) Shisyo is the name of who I refer to as Kurapika's Nen master. It's not his real name, because Togashi-sensei didn't actually reveal it, I think. In the anime, Kurapika actually refers to him as "Shishou", which means "Master" in Japanese when it's translated. However, on _Scarlet Prayer_, the Kurapika fan shrine, they refer to Kurapika's Nen master as Shisyo so I used Shisyo, too.

(3) _Gugenka_ actually means "Materialize" when it's translated from Japanese to English and refers to the Materialization Nen type. Users of this type have the ability to materialize one's Nen.

(4) _Kyouka_ actually means "Strengthen/Reinforce" when it's translated from Japanese to English and refers to the Reinforcement Nen type. Users of this type have the ability to strengthen one's Nen or increase the efficiency of an object using one's Nen.

(5) _Hatsu_ is the release of one's aura so it can be projected to carry out a certain function. This info was taken from Hunterpedia so if you want to know more, go look for more info there.

(6) _Tokushitsu_ actually means "Characteristic/Special Quality" when it's translated from Japanese to English and refers to Specialization Nen type. Users of this type have a unique aura that has characteristics belonging to no other Hatsu type.

(7) _Sousa_ actually means "Management" when it's translated from Japanese to English and refers to the Manipulation Nen type. Users of this type have the ability to manipulate objects with one's Nen.

(8) _Genei Ryodan_ actually means "Phantom Troupe/Brigade" when it's translated from Japanese to English and refers to an A-Class criminal group of thieves. This Class A organization has a total of 13 members and each have a numbered tattoo of a spider on their body. Although they mainly steal and kill, they do occasionally do charity. They're also the ones who caused the Kuruta massacre and are also the ones ultimately responsible for the appearance of the Scarlet Eyes on the Black Market.

(9) This refers to one of Robert Frost's more popular poems, _Fire and Ice_.

(10) Yggdrasil was known as the world tree in Norse mythology and supposedly its branches connected it to the heavens while its roots connected it to hell to my understanding.

(11) The Scarlet Eyes refer to the flaming scarlet eyes of the people of the Kuruta clan who had inhabited the Rukuso Province supposedly. Their eyes turn to this color in times of emotional agitation (Extreme negative emotion) or excitement (Extreme positive emotion). The eyes stay this color if at the time of death they are still activated. Their legendary brilliance is what caused them to be in high demand as a collector's item and is considered by most to be a priceless treasure.

(12) In _To Kill a Mockingbird_ by Harper Lee, a mockingbird generally symbolizes innocence. This means that to kill a mockingbird is to destroy innocence.

(13) The red string of fate generally refers to the myth of an invisible red string tied between two people's ankles and that it means the two are soul mates and are therefore destined to marry each other. When I use this here, however, I don't mean it in the romantic sense, but in a more of a friendship sense.

(14) This is actually the motto for the inhabitants of Ryuuseigai ("Shooting Star/Meteor City") except it's, "_We_ accept everything so don't take anything back."


End file.
